“Gaining or missing out on parental approval has a tremendous effect on us, even if it has been years since we have had any contact with them. In fact, what happens in our relationship with our parents can greatly affect all our present and future relationships.The Blessing
This year I followed through on a 2020 commitment to better myself through professional counseling. Mental health issues have been ever present in my life, either my own or the struggles of family and friends around me. Last year everything on the surface was going well – stable job, wonderful children, loving wife, and a beautiful new house surrounded by amazing and caring neighbors. Yet somehow I still had the nagging feeling of discontentment in my performance as a father, husband, worker, and friend. My wife encouraged me to seek professional help and I did. My counselor recommended The Blessing to help me delve deeper into those feelings of inadequacy.
The Blessing is a must-read for any parent, especially those who are like me and struggle to feel like you are never “enough” for your children/marriage/relationships. The core idea in the book is that when we “miss the blessing” from our parents, we end up replacing it with other reward systems. The Blessing stitches together Biblical examples of blessings and scripture to produce a 5-step formula for passing a Biblical family blessing from parent to child. The authors also give many real-world examples of ways in which people struggle with a lack of blessing in their lives.
After reading The Blessing, I’ve found myself with a more positive outlook on my parenting. I’ve come to understand and accept that, while I did not receive a blessing, I can be the generation that ends a cycle of emotional neglect. Instead of focusing on what I’m not doing well, I continually seek opportunities to bless my children when their amazing God-given qualities appear in daily life. What a great start to 2020!